If I had one wish I could wish, it would be that all the children raise their Jazz Hands to the sky and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes I could make, the first would be for all the children of the world to raise their Jazz Hands to the sky and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free.
You know, if I had three wishes I could make, the first, of course, would be for all the children of world to get together and do Jazz Hands together, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe.
And if I had four wishes that I could make, the first would be the crap about the hand jazzing kids...definitely...the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm.
Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing and jazz handing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So, we reorganize.
First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we go with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait...I forgot about revenge against my enemies. I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell. That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to do Jazz Hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
Many of you will recognize the above from a SNL sketch from years ago, performed by the one and only Steve Martin, and slightly altered by me...It's Saturday after all, and since my wishes pretty well coincide fairly directly with Mr. Martin's, I thought it appropriate...plus there is absolutely no way I could have written it better than the master. My sixth and final wish is to have a fraction of the humor that Steve Martin has.
If there are readers that are new to the above material...it's about time you were brought up to speed.
Day forty-seven plagiarized and complete.
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