The Jazz Hands word of the day is "continuity." Today I will announce rule number ten for the game of Nine Lives. For the sake of continuity, all rules will be listed leading up to the new one (one through ten) so that all rules thus far are neatly packaged up into one tidy post.
Tomorrow will feature a backstory and a general outline of game flow...just in case the two of you ever meet and decide to get a rousing game of Nine Lives going, provided you have a beach ball at your disposal.
Without further ado:
RULE #1 - OBJECT OF THE GAME: Survival.
RULE #2 - BALL PRESERVATION: Never, under any circumstances, let the ball hit the ground.
RULE #3 - SERVICE TRAJECTORY: You must NOT spike the ball on the serve. The ball must be lofted in a nice, "gettable" fashion directly to another player.
RULE #4 - SERVICE RETURN TRAJECTORY: Since the serve is lofted nicely with proper arcitude, it is improper etiquette to return a service with a spike (straight line trajectory). After the serve and after the return, the spiking may commence. By rule, the ball must be struck a minimum of two times prior to a spike gaining eligibility. The third strike may be a spike.
RULE #5 - NO APOLOGIES: Never, ever, ever apologize. Upon apology occurrence, one life will be deducted from the guilty player's total. No exceptions to the rule.
1st Amendment to RULE #5 - BLOODLETTING APOLOGIES: Never, ever, ever apologize, no exceptions...unless blood is drawn. If blood is spilled in any quantity, the player who dealt the punishment is bound by the Governance of Obligatory Forgiveness Request Policy (GOFRP). If blood is drawn, play must cease immediately (for proper cleanup).
2nd Amendment to RULE #5 - SARCASTIC APOLOGIES: Never, ever, ever apologize, no exceptions...unless it's in the form of sarcasm. If forgiveness is requested, a loss of one life will follow unless blood has been drawn from an opponent. If no blood is drawn from an opponent then that apology had better be snarky. Or smarmy. Or oozing with sarcasm. Oozing blood, or oozing with sarcasm...otherwise no apologies.
RULE #7 - ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS SETTLEMENT: All disputes are to be settled with a battle of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
RULE #7.1 - ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, BEST OF THREE SETTLEMENT: All Rock, Paper, Scissor battles must be resolved in a best of three series.
RULE #8 - ANTI-COWERING: Never cower. If the game ball is spiked toward a player and that player ducks out of the way, resulting in the ball hitting the ground, the ball is deemed "gettable" and the fault falls squarely onto the cowerer. The guilty player is to lose one life for this act of cowardice and shall be looked down upon in shame by the other players of the game.
RULE #9 - MULTIPLE HITS: A player can not make contact with the game ball more than once until they become eligible to do so again. To clarify: A player may not make purposeful contact with the game ball with successive hits. If a player contacts the ball purposefully multiple times prior to another player making contact with the game ball (of any kind, intentional or not), that player will lose one life.
RULE #10 - COMPLIMENTARY ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS: The loser of any best of three rock, paper, scissors settlements is required to compliment the victor. This compliment can be regarding anything pertaining to the opposition. The compliment may NOT be in the form of sarcasm, and compliments must not be used more than once in a game of Nine Lives. In other words, no complimentary plagiarism. If a compliment is not made by the losing party to the winning party of the rock, paper, scissors dispute prior to the game ball being re-served, the loser will lose yet another life and if the paid compliment is plagiarized from an earlier compliment paid in the same game, the loser will lose yet another life.
Today's Jazz Hands compartmentalized. Day one-hundred and three complete.
I could have sworn there was a baseball bat involved somehow
ReplyDeleteNever, ever, ever. No baseball bats allowed.
ReplyDelete