365 Days of Jazz Hands - Day 31

THURSDAY, JANUARY 31st, 2013

Amazingly, one full month of our Jazz Hands journey is in the books.  

You ever find yourself hating your favorite show for airing a montage episode full of highlights and passing it off as new content?  Me too.  It's a cop out.

I could totally talk about our first month's highlights, like when we started out this daily ritual on the road, in the Florida Keys giving myself Jazz Hands in the rearview mirror...We could reminisce about how I've questioned and scrutinized every aspect of my hand jazzing from saying it out loud to how rigid my fingers are, tried to mix it up with Spirit Fingers and Turtle Flappers...we could think back to all of the poop references, and there have been a few...oh the mighty poop reference.  The trick is to reference poop without ever saying the word "poop."  

We could laugh about that time that I gave myself "surprise attack" Jazz Hands in the nude, and how that was a very, very bad idea.

It would be selling you, the reader, short by merely rehashing all the events from the past month...like you want to hear about locking the cat outside again, about making "What Would Al Jolson Do?" bracelets, and the last thing you want is to revisit is Michigan J. Frog, the eventual icon of the WB Network.  

I could totally go through and find some memorable moments, like my story about "Pops" the pan handler and how he loves Combos, or about how I find Liza Minelli somewhat annoying, yet eerily similar to that Clockwork Orange fellow with the derby hat, or how I hate Tuesdays because of the Tower of Babel thing...but I won't put you through that nonsense.

Barry and LeVon are in the past and we should just leave them there where they belong, and as liberating as it was to give some stranger on the beach the jazz hands business, I won't bring it up here, nor will I revisit edible unicorns and the magical powers they give you, or the rainbows they poop as they fly while Jim Carey ballet dances and how we can see how beautiful he and everything else is once we look closer at the details of our every day lives and start drinking our coffee out of wine glasses because we have a deeper appreciation through deep observation of the ordinary like Mexicans and Cubans and more poop references and how sublime my Jazz Hand deployment has become just kidding it hasn't but it will save the world and bring unity among mankind and make Joseph Campbell proud to quote Shakespeare and Steve Martin and black men giving me advice, but not really going outdoors to thrust my jazz hands upon big owls swooping down to eat the dog poop reference.

But I won't do that to you...it's just not quality programming.  

Month one complete.  See you in February.