SUNDAY, JANUARY 13th, 2013
The differences between amphibians and reptiles should be something I know off the top of my head. Certainly the subject came up in school at some point, yet the distinctions elude me. Enter Google. Time Magazine had a great article detailing how the Smart Phone/Digital Age/Google Era is making people like me stupid (I am paraphrasing, of course)...a well storied, ironic twist of fate for us tied to these "Smart Phones" for sure. Having knowledge of just about anything you can imagine comes at a price, it seems. We no longer store as much information in our long-term memory bank due to a lack of necessity. As evidence, I have exactly three phone numbers memorized. My personal iPhone number, my wife's cell phone number, and the phone number of the house that I spent the better part of my childhood. Curiously, phones back then had cords and were permanently fixed to a wall. Some of them had long cords to enable privacy, and as an added bonus my sister could sit in the bathroom to gossip AND trip me as I walk through the house all in one fell swoop. More to the point, I no longer require the memorization of your phone number because, A) I don't typically make a lot of phone calls and B) With the click of a button or two, the digits are at my disposal wherever my iPhone and I may go...except for the pool. My iPhone likes swimming as much as Family Dog. What one has to do with the other would require even more rambling, but what I can tell you is that the kind people at the Apple Store, unofficially, have a "Drowning Puppy Saving Discount" on a replacement phone. As smart as these devices are, they do not know how to swim nor are they amphibious or reptilian in any way, shape or form.
Where was I going with this?
The word "reptilian" specifically means "to creep stealthily under area of darkness." They have scales, breathe air from lungs their entire life, usually lay eggs and are cold blooded. Sea turtles fall within this distinction quite nicely (opposed to the iPhone). After naming a "Jazz Hands" variation based on how a sea turtle moves its flappers, my thoughts turned to that old cartoon featuring (appropriately) "Michigan J. Frog" singing a ragtime jazz number while dancing. If you recall, Michigan J. Frog would dance and sing until the curtain lifted, revealing to the audience a very ordinary, ribbiting frog wearing a top hat. Keep this knowledge in the back of your mind, or store it somewhere on your smartphone if you're expecting to see me demonstrate hand jazzing at some point. I went back and viewed that cartoon a few times (credit: YouTube) and am surprised to report that Michigan J. Frog does NOT jazz his hands once...at least not in his 1955 Loony Tunes debut, "One Froggy Evening." Also note that Michigan J. Frog is an amphibian, not a reptile. Although cold blooded like his reptilian friend the sea turtle, the comparisons end there. Amphibian translates to "lives double lives," which seems fairly appropriate given the nature of the cartoon character and how that character compares somewhat favorably to my situation...Also, for those curious as to the remaining distinctions, amphibians are born with gills, develop lungs as they mature and require a nearby water source due to their moist skin.
Michigan J. Frog, for most of his song and dance number has a hat in one hand and a cane in the other prohibiting him from jazzing his little, webbed hands. Near the end, with hat on head, he almost pulls off a one-handed "Jazz Hand" but doesn't quite get there. What a tease. Today I attempt a one-handed hand jazz to experiment (although no cane, no hat) and it somehow comes off as less than half-right, leading me to conclude that "Jazz Hands" is an "elements greater than the sum of its parts" kinda thing. Michigan J. Frog knew what he was doing as it turns out. Day Thirteen complete. Ribbit...
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