Rule #3 for the game formerly known as Vollepotadodge but is now called Nine Lives because it sounds better: You must NOT spike the ball on the serve. The ball must be lofted in a nice, "gettable" fashion directly to another player. We'll get back to proper service later, but let's elaborate on the spiking.
It is an unknown pleasure for most, but hitting somebody in the face at close range with a beach ball can be quite fulfilling, especially if you spike the ball with enough force to make the recipient double over, inducing watery eyes. It is how Jazz Hands is meant to make you feel (the delivery part, not the watering eyes). You can jazz hands your ass off from the rooftop, surprise attack honka honka hand jazz your spouse, or shower your praising jazz hands down upon a pet for doing his business, but none of them are as gratifying as hitting somebody squarely in the face at close range with a beach ball.
Surprisingly, getting hit in the face at close range by a beach ball is not nearly as enjoyable...but if you are willing to deliver, you had better learn to accept the receiving role as well. You may ask, why all the violence? Well...there is "ultra-violence" and then there is "pseudo-violence." I do not condone the former, but believe that a beach ball to the face falls into the latter category. If you're playing to win, which you should be, then doses of pseudo-violence may be in order. The more deliveries you extend, the better chance of survival you have. You have nine lives, but so do they. The worst that can happen is the nozzle hits an opponent directly in the eye...that's called collateral damage. Embrace it.
Committing an act of pseudo-violence should not induce a sympathetic response. If you hear the whispers of guilt swirling around your conscience, perhaps it will help to demonize your opponent. Imagine that the recipient of a forthcoming beach ball spike to the face just left you a long, meandering voice mail, but at the end of that message they request that you call back at your earliest convenience, then speed mumble their number requiring you to listen to the excruciatingly long message a minimum of four more times before you are able to decipher most of the numbers and merely venture a guess at the others. This is your enemy. Make them pay.
Now for the details of proper service. Upon serving, you must throw the ball into the air, jazz your hands while saying the words "Jazz Hands!" as to announce the forthcoming service, then strike the ball in a soft, "gettable" fashion directly toward another player. The ball should have a lofting arc as it travels along its path from you to an opponent of your choosing. Again, do not spike the ball (a straight-line trajectory, devoid of arcitude). Spiking the ball at an opponent during a serve will result in the immediate loss of a life and you will surrender your serve to the next player...plus you will upset His Blueness and you do not want that. Play the game right and avoid the Blue wrath.
To sum, the Nine Lives game ball is put into play exactly like a volleyball serve. Except with a beach ball. And more hand jazzing. And more of an arcitudinal trajectory. And more made up words. And a little blue hand jazzing deity. And a bunch of other things, but all in due time.
Today's Jazz Hands have arcitude and are totally gettable. Day sixty-four complete.
It is an unknown pleasure for most, but hitting somebody in the face at close range with a beach ball can be quite fulfilling, especially if you spike the ball with enough force to make the recipient double over, inducing watery eyes. It is how Jazz Hands is meant to make you feel (the delivery part, not the watering eyes). You can jazz hands your ass off from the rooftop, surprise attack honka honka hand jazz your spouse, or shower your praising jazz hands down upon a pet for doing his business, but none of them are as gratifying as hitting somebody squarely in the face at close range with a beach ball.
Surprisingly, getting hit in the face at close range by a beach ball is not nearly as enjoyable...but if you are willing to deliver, you had better learn to accept the receiving role as well. You may ask, why all the violence? Well...there is "ultra-violence" and then there is "pseudo-violence." I do not condone the former, but believe that a beach ball to the face falls into the latter category. If you're playing to win, which you should be, then doses of pseudo-violence may be in order. The more deliveries you extend, the better chance of survival you have. You have nine lives, but so do they. The worst that can happen is the nozzle hits an opponent directly in the eye...that's called collateral damage. Embrace it.
Committing an act of pseudo-violence should not induce a sympathetic response. If you hear the whispers of guilt swirling around your conscience, perhaps it will help to demonize your opponent. Imagine that the recipient of a forthcoming beach ball spike to the face just left you a long, meandering voice mail, but at the end of that message they request that you call back at your earliest convenience, then speed mumble their number requiring you to listen to the excruciatingly long message a minimum of four more times before you are able to decipher most of the numbers and merely venture a guess at the others. This is your enemy. Make them pay.
Now for the details of proper service. Upon serving, you must throw the ball into the air, jazz your hands while saying the words "Jazz Hands!" as to announce the forthcoming service, then strike the ball in a soft, "gettable" fashion directly toward another player. The ball should have a lofting arc as it travels along its path from you to an opponent of your choosing. Again, do not spike the ball (a straight-line trajectory, devoid of arcitude). Spiking the ball at an opponent during a serve will result in the immediate loss of a life and you will surrender your serve to the next player...plus you will upset His Blueness and you do not want that. Play the game right and avoid the Blue wrath.
To sum, the Nine Lives game ball is put into play exactly like a volleyball serve. Except with a beach ball. And more hand jazzing. And more of an arcitudinal trajectory. And more made up words. And a little blue hand jazzing deity. And a bunch of other things, but all in due time.
Today's Jazz Hands have arcitude and are totally gettable. Day sixty-four complete.
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