For those not in the circle of knowledge, a 'selfie', according to the Urban Dictionary, is "A picture taken of yourself that is planned to be uploaded to any sort of social networking website. You can usually see the person's arm holding out the camera in which case you can clearly tell that this person does not have any friends to take pictures of them so they resort to social networks to find internet friends and post pictures of themselves, taken by themselves. A 'selfie' is usually accompanied by a kissy face or the individual looking in a direction that is not towards the camera."
I thought I'd include the specific, scientific definition of a 'selfie' since I referred to a 'selfie' upon finding the little yellow disposable camera a couple of days ago. I have developed the contents of said little yellow disposable camera in hopes to shed some light on this mysterious discovery, and of course, the 'selfie' as I indicated taking to test the camera upon finding it on the passenger seat of my car, is included in the collection.
I should note that most of the photos appear to be taken by a drunkard, or someone moving at a high rate of speed ('selfie' notwithstanding). I did not include the blurry, indecipherable images taken by the drunkard and/or fast moving photographer.
The first photo to showcase is, of course, the aforementioned 'selfie.' I tried to make it look as if I was squishing my own head with the fingers that were NOT taking the snapshot. You can be the judge whether or not my attempt was successful.
I thought I'd include the specific, scientific definition of a 'selfie' since I referred to a 'selfie' upon finding the little yellow disposable camera a couple of days ago. I have developed the contents of said little yellow disposable camera in hopes to shed some light on this mysterious discovery, and of course, the 'selfie' as I indicated taking to test the camera upon finding it on the passenger seat of my car, is included in the collection.
I should note that most of the photos appear to be taken by a drunkard, or someone moving at a high rate of speed ('selfie' notwithstanding). I did not include the blurry, indecipherable images taken by the drunkard and/or fast moving photographer.
The first photo to showcase is, of course, the aforementioned 'selfie.' I tried to make it look as if I was squishing my own head with the fingers that were NOT taking the snapshot. You can be the judge whether or not my attempt was successful.
How did I do? My head looks adequately squished, and it looks painful as my gigantic thumb and forefinger are really closing in. Of course, I was still in somewhat of a state of shock upon finding the little yellow disposable camera in my locked car, but the photo came out clearly so it is included.
The mystery of the camera, however, is not completely solved. I'm fairly certain who the culprit is, since I physically handed the camera to Pops a few months back, plus there's the red blur that seems to match the specific coloration of his raggedy old baseball cap.
The second photo in the collection is, once again, of me. This time not a 'selfie.' The image itself is not of high quality, but that's me, possibly writing a Jazz Hands post. Just the other day, sitting down to write about the Orange Light Conspiracy Theory, the plastic toy click and winding sound caught my attention. It's only a guess, but the following image very well could be that particular moment captured on film.
There have been occasions when Robert Lochaven has appeared suddenly in the car next to me while en route to my place of business, and just as easily vanishes prior to the completion of the commute. Perhaps the same mysterious time traveling abilities have allowed Pops to do as much, explaining how the camera was placed into a locked car without the aftermarket poisonous gas dispenser setting off. In fact, I do recall Robert Lochaven confirming that Pops is a fellow traveler of time, and since I have practically hand fed Pops alarming amounts of salty goods, it stands to reason he's still out there hopping around from time to time on the dosage I supplied him with.
If you look at the photograph closely you can barely make out the newly acquired coffee travel mug that I have become so emotionally attached to.
Distancing ourselves from the question of how Pops placed the camera back into my car, now that we have definitive clarity on that particular issue, the real question is why did he take it upon himself to follow me around and capture these particular images? There must be an intended narrative.
The next photo is, again, of me, this time gassing up the ole guzzler, probably en route to the workplace whilst wearing my coveted red hooded sweatshirt that I have...become emotionally attachment to.
His message is becoming a tad less fuzzy.
And then there I am in the next photo hard at pretending to be important at the workplace. Relevance is not easily feigned. If you look closely on the left hand side of the image, the infamous Blue Meanie is visible, proudly displaying his jazzing hands.
It does make some sense, I suppose, depending on perspective. I have given the man salty snack care packages, t-shirts from blood drives and above all else saved him from the zombie virus, so it stands to reason that Pops might find some way to pay me back. There are far better ways to say thank you and to return the favors of assistance. However, there certainly is some value in forcing me to, literally, come face to face with myself.
Is this not the same as the glass house and the candle and the fire breathing dragon? Is this not the same as the mirrored buildings reflecting the surrounding sky? If one thing has remained consistent from day one until now it's this theme of inner reflection, of peering into oneself and confronting personal demons.
Let's find out, shall we?
Thanks for the lesson, Pops. And also, thanks for the final picture of our little slide show, capturing this author in the act of a coveted morning coffee drinking routine. Who says elderly time traveling homeless men don't have a sense of humor?
Today's Jazz Hands learned a valuable lesson.
Day three-hundred and forty complete.
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