...and God said "Let there be clutter" and then there was clutter.
Of course that wasn't the first thing He said or did. First he had to create Himself, obviously.
Once that nifty little trick was complete, He had to summon the strength to initiate the cosmos project, and then with His infinite supernatural powers He found a small corner of the newly created infinite space, and allocated it to mankind (thank you!).
Yes, of course before mankind there was light and it was good, then he separated the light and dark, then the naming of stuff soon followed, which had to be fairly amusing, calling the light thing 'day' and that dark thing 'night' and then came the creation of sound and fury, etcetera.
And then, at long last, came mankind. And with mankind came clutter.
Oh how we love cluttering up our dwellings with meaningless possession.
The first of mankind, Adam, said "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." And there you have mankind's first obsession with possession. God made us in his image, after all, and since He had a propensity for collecting things (what are we if not God's prized collection of nicknacks?), it seems fitting that the first of our kind was hellbent to collect.
And No. I am not likening womankind to clutter. I'm merely continuing the biblical reference.
Somewhere along the way, mankind regressed and the Adams and Eves of this world turned into grotesque critters with lots of fur and used bones as tools. My guess is that this took place sometime post talking snakes/apple eating era, and the regression was God's little way of saying, "Life's a bitch, have fun with the evolving over millions of years thing."
Collections of bones became all the rage for our savage greatgreatgreat grandwhatevers. Wooly Mammoth bones, Saber Tooth Tiger skins, sharp stones and sticks, all of these items lined the mantles of early man. Unlucky for our fuzzy ancestors, they did not have the advantage of various shaped and sized boxes to put their clutter in upon moving day. As mankind became more self-aware and began assigning emotional attachments to various things, collections grew to unprecedented scales. Mankind was forced with the decision to either make due with an outgrown cave, or figure out a clever way to travel with loads of shit. This led to the invention of the box, which led to compartmentalization which led to categorization.
Necessity is the mother of invention.
Mankind has made some overall refinements since those early days, better boxes and shinier trinkets, to name a couple...but not much has changed in terms of the need for clutter to make our lives seem more meaningful.
Today's Jazz Hands will eat pizza in the middle of a newly acquired living room floor, awaiting the arrival of boxes full of clutter.
Day two-hundred and twenty-eight complete.
No comments:
Post a Comment