Allow me to introduce myself...
First, I should point out that while your author is off neglecting his family, his responsibilities and above all else, his Jazz Hands reporting, I have decided to hold my post here in the swamps of the south, battling the rains and humidity and gators. Rains and humidity, at the least. I'm not a big fan of reptiles with giant teeth. Come to think of it, I am not that fond of rain and humidity but find them much more tolerable than enormous lizards that may find me appetizing.
For your information, I exist within the context of reason, as I have assured as much to your author and as I hijack this blog for the next few days, you will notice a general lack of literary references, overreaching metaphors and existential crap. You will not hear me refer to time travel, barring a forthcoming clarification, yet I am, according to your author, a time traveler.
I can not refute the time travel claim entirely, since technically, I am a time traveler. However, it is not the stuff of science fiction that some may like to believe...the fact of the matter is, we're all time travelers in the most mundane, normal way possible. How does one age without moving from one moment in time to the next?
Upon your author's return, I shall relinquish the responsibilities of writing this daily blog back to him. This is his obligation...I'm merely stepping on his toes.
Today's Jazz Hands have been hijacked.
Yours truly,
Robert Lochaven
Day two-hundred and seventy complete.
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