365 Days of Jazz Hands - Day 305

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 1st, 2013

Post-Halloween Guide to Monster Jazz Handing:

1. Choose a ghoulish stance with one arm hanging limp at your side with your hand curled under and the other hunched up and rigid above your head.  The actual motion of the hands commonly associated with Jazz Hands can be compromised a bit in this case.

2. Lift your right foot off the floor with your knee slightly bent and out to the side.  Stand on the ball of your left foot and pivot.

3. Put your right foot back down on the floor close to the right foot then turn your left foot slightly in and up on the ball of this foot.

4. Lift your left foot off the floor with your knee slightly bent.

5. Put your left foot back down on the floor close to the right foot then turn your left foot slightly in and up on the ball of this foot.

6. Continue to pivot and mash your feet into the floor to a spooky rhythm.

7. Keep practicing the footwork until you can transition from foot to foot smoothly and in time with the music while deploying a morbid version of Jazz Hands, and don't forget to vocalize the words similar to how a zombie may say "braaaaains!"

8. It helps if you are dressed as some sort of a monster.  

9. It does not help if you are dressed up as some sort of a drag queen.

10. Eliminate the hand jazzing from the above equation, and you're left with your average, run-of-the-mill "monster mashing."

11. If the song "Monster Mash" is playing while running through the above routine, you may have to exaggerate the hand jazzing quite a bit as to not be mistaken for an average, run-of-the-mill monster masher.  

12. If you are so inclined to play the song "Monster Mash" while deploying Monster Jazz Hands, I highly recommend the Misfits version, recorded in 1997, unless you are truly after the novelty of the original, recorded in 1966 by Bobby 'Boris' Pickett.  

13. Today's Jazz Hands are packing up all of the Halloween decorations for yet another year.

14. Day three-hundred and five complete.