Running through the list of variations at my disposal, none of the potential deployments really jump out at me. None of them seem fitting for a Tuesday morning. None appropriate for the first day back from an extended weekend break away from the rat race.
I jazzed my hands during Family Dog's morning deployment...but that didn't sit well. I now realize that instead of Family Dog conditioned to deploy his business as a result of my Jazz Hands deployments, the conditioning has worked itself out in reverse. Anytime I see that fluffy little guy squat and do his thing, I get the sudden urge to jazz my hands. Did Pavlov begin ringing bells every time he witnessed a dog eating after a while?
I gave my old favorite standby a shot, but surprise attack Jazz Hands seemed entirely forced, and this deployment no longer takes me by surprise. Even when naked. Which I tried. Still not advisable. It should be wiped off the list completely, actually. It's quite repulsive.
I tried jazz handing a total stranger at a red light somewhere between Bead Store and Causeway. Although the deployment was extraordinarily feverish, the gentleman on the receiving end was way too focused on whatever his phone had to say. Either that or he was fully aware of something strange occurring in the car to his right, but chose to avoid engagement due to the awkward nature of the interaction between us had he acknowledged my jazzings. Like coworkers from other departments that make certain their shoes are tied or double check the time on their watch whenever we cross paths in the hallways, this man avoided contact as if I was a door to door advocate for the Church of Please Donate Your Time Money and Soul.
I can't say I blame him. I'd do the same thing most likely. I hide when I see nicely dressed strangers carrying pamphlets approach my door. And sometimes I absolutely have to know what time it is when I'm walking down the hall as assurance that I will not be late for the water cooler meeting. Also, it is very dangerous to walk around with your shoes untied, so there's that.
All of the hand jazzing options at my disposal and none seem to fit this Tuesday morning. Best not to force the issue. It's okay to acknowledge that some days are less jazzy than others.
In the infamous words of Getty Lee, If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
Today's last line of Jazz Hands made no sense whatsoever. Which somehow makes it make more sense than if it somehow made sense. Day one-hundred and forty-eight complete.
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