Saturday, May 4, 2013

365 Days of Jazz Hands - Day 123

FRIDAY, MAY 3rd, 2013  

I have some terrific news!

After several minutes of arduous research, I have come to the conclusion that we do not all have a mental illness.  Clinical mental illness designation is reserved for those incapable of logic due to a physiological deficiency of fire power in or somewhere near the medulla oblongata.  Those of us that have a disregard for logic, with a fully functional oblongata are what future scientists and doctors will call "fundamentally ill."  This new clinical designation (after catching wind of this blog) will be reserved for otherwise healthy, normal functioning humans making really stupid decisions.

My research revealed the need for this new terminology and thus, a breakthrough has occurred.  This will be my contribution to the scientific/medical community.

You're welcome.

This will obviously open a new era of categorization and compartmentalization and though I despise our tendency to neatly organize our species into convenient little packages, I understand the inherent need for such practices.  In the absence of order, you will soon have a world that closely resembles Daughter's room and that could potentially lead to the downfall of civilization.  The human race and all of its various cultures and subcultures and sub-subcultures (even the ones lacking culture) would crumble.  Although the fact remains that we are destined to fail and life as we know it, one day, will cease to exist, we must rely on the fundamentally ill to keep us afloat for as long as possible (hat tip to Noah...the most fundamentally illest of them all...Thanks, buddy).

This hand jazzing obsession now squarely fits into the category of "fundamental illness" and is completely justified (whew).

Well, in some cultures it is anyway.

Today's Jazz Hands contributed to science.  Day one-hundred and twenty-three complete.



 

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